Just me a MOM..

Preemie life and Depression through my eyes.

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Archive for October 5th, 2007

Every Day.

Posted by Jenn on October 5, 2007

I have had a lot of time these last couple of months to find simple things that i am grateful for. As i have talked about before, Music seems to express a lot of what is in my heart. I have come to truly come to love where i am in my life. Yes, its hard to not have enough money or to not be able to fully do what i want when it comes to a lot of things in my life, but I am just grateful that the lord has put these trials in my life. I am learning a lot about who i am and what i really want to become. I have a loving and wonderful husband that is amazing to me. He has done a lot of changing in a very short time. He has worked so hard to make himself what the lord wants him to be. He asked me the other day why i kept him around after a lot of what we have gone through. I could not find the right words to express to him how i felt. I instead played him a song. It sounds silly but for me this song said EVERYTHING i wanted and more.  Its called Everyday by Rascal Flatts. Here are the words:

Every Day.

You could’ve bowed out gracefully
But you didn’t
You knew enough to know
To leave well enough alone
But you wouldn’t
I drive myself crazy
Tryin’ to stay out of my own way
The messes that I make
But my secrets are so safe
The only one who gets me
Yeah, you get me
It’s amazing to me

CHORUS
How every day
Every day, every day
You save my life

I come around all broken down and
crowded out
And you’re comfort
Sometimes the place I go
Is so deep and dark and desperate
I don’t know, I don’t know

Repeat Chorus

Sometimes I swear, I don’t know if
I’m comin’ or goin’
But you always say something
without even knowin’
That I’m hangin’ on to your words
With all of my might and it’s alright
Yeah, I’m alright for one more night-
every day
Every day, every day, every day
Every day, every day
You save me, you save me, oh, oh, oh
Every day
Every, every, every day-

Every day you save my life

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The smell of rain.

Posted by Jenn on October 5, 2007

I found this story and it touched my heart. A similar thing happened to us when we had Zach.

A cold March wind danced around the dead of night in Dallas as the doctor walked into the small hospital room of Diana Blessing. She was still groggy from surgery. Her husband, David, held her hand as they braced themselves for the latest news. That afternoon of March 10, 1991, complications had forced Diana, only 24-weeks pregnant, to undergo an emergency Cesarean to deliver couple’s new daughter, Dana Lu Blessing. At 12 inches long and weighing only one pound nine ounces, they already knew she was perilously premature. Still, the doctor’s soft words dropped like bombs. “I don’t think she’s going to make it,” he said, as kindly as he could. “There’s only a 10-percent chance she will live through the night, and even then, if by some slim chance she does make it, her future could be a very cruel one” Numb with disbelief, David and Diana listened as the doctor described the devastating problems Dana would likely face if she survived. She would never walk, she would never talk, she would probably be blind, and she would certainly be prone to other catastrophic conditions from cerebral palsy to complete mental retardation, and on and on. “No! No!” was all Diana could say. She and David, with their 5-year-old son Dustin, had long dreamed of the day they would have a daughter to become a family of four. Now, within a matter of hours, that dream was slipping away but as those first days passed, a new agony set in for David and Diana. Because Dana’s underdeveloped nervous system was essentially ‘raw’, the lightest kiss or caress only intensified her discomfort, so they couldn’t even cradle their tiny baby girl against their chests to offer the strength of their love. All they could do, as Dana struggled alone beneath the ultraviolet light in the tangle of tubes and wires, was to pray that God would stay close to their precious little girl. There was never a moment when Dana suddenly grew stronger. But as the weeks went by, she did slowly gain an ounce of weight here and an ounce of strength there. At last, when Dana turned two months old, her parents were able to hold her in their arms for the very first time. And two months later, though doctors continued to gently but grimly warn that her chances of surviving, much less living any kind of normal life, were next to zero, Dana went home from the hospital, just as her mother had predicted. Five years later, when Dana was a petite but feisty young girl with glittering gray eyes and an unquenchable zest for life. She showed no signs whatsoever of any mental or physical impairment. Simply, she was everything a little girl can be and more. But that happy ending is far from the end of her story. One blistering afternoon in the summer of 1996 near her home in Irving, Texas, Dana was sitting in her mother’s lap in the bleachers of a local ball park where her Brother Dustin’s baseball team was practicing. As always, Dana was chattering nonstop with her mother and several other adults sitting nearby when she suddenly fell silent. Hugging her arms across her chest, little Dana asked, “Do you smell that?” Smelling the air and detecting the approach of a thunderstorm, Diana replied, “Yes, it smells like rain.” Dana closed her eyes and again asked, “Do you smell that?” Once again, her mother replied, “Yes, I think we’re about to get wet. It smells like rain.” Still caught in the moment, Dana shook her head, patted her thin shoulders with her small hands and loudly announced, No, it smells like Him. It smells like God when you lay your head on His chest.” Tears blurred Diana’s eyes as Dana happily hopped down to play with the other children. Before the rains came, her daughter’s words confirmed what Diana and all the members of the extended Blessing family had known, at least in their hearts, all along. During those long days and nights of her first two months of her life, when her nerves were too sensitive for them to touch her, God was holding Dana on His chest and it is His loving scent that she remembers so well.

 

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Thanks Early Intervention!

Posted by Jenn on October 5, 2007

Early Intervention has changed my life. They gave my son a chance to be “normal”.  They were faithful about coming and working with him. I know with out a doubt that Zach would not be where he is today with out the services he got from Early Intervention.  I know that i look forward to the days that they come to our house because i also call them my friends.  So for all the hope they gave me. I say THANKS EARLY INTERVENTION!

This video was put together by some people that wanted to say thanks too. I hope they don’t mind that i am using it.

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