Keeping your cool.

It’s been a crazy couple of weeks. Thanksgiving was so much fun. Like my sister said in her blog, my family ROCKS! I was laughing the whole time. It was fun to be with my brothers and sisters for 3 whole days and I had the best time. After we got home I some how hurt my back. I could not move or do anything for a week. It hurt before thanksgiving but nothing like Saturday night. It was so bad I went to the Dr. I didn’t remember hurting or moving wrong so it was just a pulled muscle. He gave me 3 meds to take. Loratab messes me up! I was so loopy. I was told that I could not do anything for 3- days. No lifting kids or doing house work. Just sleeping and sitting. Both of which were the most painful things to do. Chad thought it was so funny. He would ask me a question and it would take me a good 30 seconds to a minute to answer him back. I am glad he got some enjoyment out of me. I was supposed to start a new adventure last Monday but because I couldn’t drive or talk coherently I had to postpone it. I will talk more about that later.

Chad and I were having a conversation about what would happen if I went away. He told me that it would just be to hard and he would just give up. That very night is when the back thing started to get worse. He had to take over everything. I couldn’t even get the kids out of bed or change their bums. It was so hard to not be able to be the mom. I am proud to say that Chad did okay. He kept telling me how hard it was and asking me how I did it everyday. It was a nice wake up call for him.

I feel much better now. I have stopped taking the meds. It still kind of hurts when I turn or stretch but it’s much better and I have started back to being the mom.

I think Emily missed me not being able to do what I usually do. She is really pushing her limits with me this week. She had me in tears today. I am usually okay to stay calm and just deal with what she is doing. This week has been Hell! I was about to call my sister in law and say please come take her for an hour or two. I have not been that frustrated with her in so long.  I have still taken the time to self reflect these last few days. I know that I have a lot more to improve on. I think I find myself waiting for others to change before I fully take that leap of faith I know I need to take. So far it hasn’t been that bad. I love the feeling of peace that I carry with me. It helps in times like today when I feel so alone and defeated. I am proud that I kept my cool with Emily. Ultimately she lost lots of privileges but she is still the happy Emily I love.

Wordless Wednesday

Zach at 2 weeks

Zach at 1 year.

Zach at 2 years. What a change….

Thank you Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving. What a great time of year. I have spent a lot of the last week thinking about why I love this time of year so much. As I have gotten older I have noticed that Thanksgiving has become my all time favorite holiday.   I love that everyone gets to be with their family. I love that we are reminded to be thankful for the things we have. We are reminded that others don’t have the same things we do. We learn to fully give of ourselves and sacrifice of the things that we have. I have started doing this everyday. I have found that if I can serve once a day I feel so much better about myself. But the best thing about this holiday is that it’s not focused on money. I love that I don’t have to worry about how much I have to spend on people. That we as a family, can come together, Share the talents we have, and give thanks for the many things we have been blessed with.

I am So thankful for my family. I have 2 amazing children. They show me the meaning of love everyday, all day long. Someone asked me the other day if I wished that Zach didn’t have the many problems that he does. I didn’t even have to think about it. I would not change him or the things he goes through at all. What an amazing way to learn to enjoy the little things in your life. Learning to see everything your children do not just the “Big” stuff. I have met many wonderful parents that I would have not even known existed had it not been for Zach. Emily is the joy of my life. She is someone that I laugh with, Cry with, Share secrets with, sing with, play with, and love with. I love that Zach has his very best friend as a sister.

I am so thankful for Chad. He is someone that I know without a shadow of a doubt I could not live without. I love him so much, I am proud that he has come so far in his life. It has not been easy for either of us.

I am so grateful for my religion. Knowing that I have the power to pray and get guidance in my life is so amazing. I have learned a lot about myself in the last few weeks. I cannot live with out Christ. He is the reason that I have what I do. He understands me better than anyone in this world.

            I do have to say thank you to my Amazing Support system. I have 2 of the most a amazing and selfless people as best friends. I know that I can turn to either of them at anytime for help. I feel like I have used them too much sometimes without giving back. I am truly sorry for taking advantage of that friendship. My Mother is, wow, there are no words to describe my mother. I want to be just like her when I get bigger. She is my rock. I talk to her 2-3 times a day some days. I know she loves hearing how I am. I am in awe of the things she has dealt with in her life. She is so strong. I love her so much.

            So this Thanksgiving I am going to tell the ones that I love how much I care for them and how much I am grateful for the things they do for me and my family. Ohh and I am going to go into the greatest Turkey coma!!!! Have a fabulous Day!

Prayers and being couragious.

We have been dealing with some not so fun things in our house. Nothing that i am comfortable talking about on here. I have started down a road of Self Improvement. I have been praying for a while now about certain things, Its funny, to me, how those prayers are getting answered. I found this quote on another blog. It was exactly what i have needed to say but didn’t know how. Thanks friend for putting this on your blog. It helped when i was so much in need of it.

“Do you want guidance? Have you prayed to the Lord for inspiration? Do you want to do right or do you want to do what you want to do whether or not it is right? Do you want to do what is best for you in the long run or what seems more desirable for the moment? Have you prayed? How much have you prayed? How did you pray? Have you prayed as did the Savior of the world in Gethsemane or did you ask for what you want regardless of its being proper? Do you say in your prayers: “Thy will be done”? Did you say, “Heavenly Father, if you will inspire and impress me with the right, I will do that right”? Or, did you pray “Give me what I want or I will take it anyway”? Did you say: “Father in Heaven, I love you, I believe in you, I know you are omniscient. I am honest. I am sincerely desirous of doing right. I know you can see the end from the beginning. You can see the future. You can discern if under this situation I present, I will have peace or turmoil, happiness or sorrow, success or failure. Tell me, please, loved Heavenly Father, and I promise to do what you tell me to do.” Have you prayed that way? Don’t you think it might be wise? Are you courageous enough to pray that prayer?

Zachs Brain.

This is a Picture of Zach’s Brain. The black part in the middle is the hole that is in his brain. That hole is fluid filled and explains why he has the problems he does.
However, If you see how well he is doing now its amazing that he is doing the things he is. He should be a vegetable.

Just do it…

“If it were possible to make your road very easy, you wouldn’t grow in strength. If you were always forgiven for every mistake without effort on your part, you would never receive the blessings of repentance. If everything were done for you, you wouldn’t learn how to work, or gain self-confidence, or acquire the power to change.

— Richard G. Scott~General Conference May 1990

 

 This is something that we have been dealing with in my family. I really like this quote. Nuff Said!

Wordless Wednesday

Emily and her cousin Saige Sitting in Grandpas Chair. They are best friends

Duane W.Taylor “Grandpa”

Duane W. Taylor
Duane W. Taylor 1938 ~ 2007 PRICE- Our beloved husband, father, grandfather, uncle and friend, Duane W. Taylor, 69, passed away November 7, 2007 after a year-long battle with brain cancer. Born April 25, 1938 in Salt Lake City, Utah to Wallace J. and Marjorie McBeth Taylor. Graduated from South High School, where he was a member of the ROTC and joined the paratroopers in the Utah National Guard after graduation. He married Joan Mash on September 1, 1959 in Salt Lake City at the Cathedral of the Madeleine. Duane rode with the Salt Lake County Sheriff’s Posse many years winning multiple competition awards. He worked with his father at the family-owned Wally Taylor TrucKar Service station in Salt Lake City. He went to work at Skagg’s Drug Center, eventually becoming a store manager in Price, Utah. He opened and co-owned Cleo’s Fabrics for several years and eventually worked as the collection manager at the College of Eastern Utah Prehistoric Museum. While there, he developed a love of paleontology and the prehistory of Utah. Several years ago he and Joan began practicing music with friends every Monday night at their home and eventually started the Nine Mile Players. They performed for groups and gatherings around the area until just recently. He enjoyed shooting and was known to his competitive cowboy shooting friends as “Buck”. He enjoyed scouring the hills of Carbon and Emery counties with museum employees searching for fossils and dinosaur bones and volunteered there for many years. He was a founding member of the local chapters of Utah Statewide Archeological Society and Utah Friends of Paleontology. He was partners in T and L Livestock with his close friend Ross Lindsay and founded T and A Sweeping with local businessman Jon Anast. Survived by his wife, Joan, Price; daughters, Christine (Blair) Allred, Salt Lake City; Karen (Layne) Miller, Price; Cathy (Todd) Richardson, Price; grandchildren, Taylor Miller, Ashley (Ed) Elliott, Austin Allred, Travis, Tanner and Trey Richardson; sister, DonnaAnn Fellows, brother, Robert J. Taylor; five step grandchildren, Scott, Aimee, Brandon, Jennifer, Melisa; and many loving step great-grandchildren, foster grandchildren, nieces and nephews. Graveside service, Saturday, Nov. 10, 2007, 11 a.m., Cliffview Cemetery. Family will be at Mitchell Funeral Home, 233 East Main in Price Friday evening from 6-8 p.m. and Saturday from 10:00 -10:45 a.m. In remembrance of Duane’s love of paleontology, contributions may be made to the CEU Prehistoric Museum.

Wordless Wednesday

In honor of Grandpa Taylor. He passed peacefully in his sleep last night with his family by his side. He will be missed for sure!

Finding peace in Cancer.

Sometimes I sit back and wonder what we are suppose to learn from the trials we are given. I have stopped asking why its happening and now ask what am I suppose to learn from them. That’s been a really hard thing to do. So much is going on this week and its only Tuesday. I have so much to be thankful for, yet while I write this there are a few people out there that are suffering. 

My Step-Grandpa is lying in a hospital fighting for his life. For as long as I have known him (which is all my life) he has been this quiet rock of a man. He works harder than any man I know. He says little but his actions scream love and kindness. He has 3 daughters that are his world. He has 6 grandchildren that look up to him and 5 step grandchildren who consider him just as much their grandfather as anyone else. At the beginning of this year he was told that he had a brain tumor. Ever since then he has just slowly gotten weaker and weaker. Yesterday my father called me in tears telling me that Grandpa was not going to live more than a couple of more days. I was in complete shock. I never thought it would come to this. I always thought that he would make it through this. I have never seen my Dad cry. I could not contain my emotion when I hung up the phone. I had to wait a while to call my brothers and sisters and let them know. I don’t want to be going to a funeral this weekend. I want so much to hear that he is going to be okay.  If that is not what the Lord wants I pray that his Wife and Daughters are surrounded with Peace and that his grandchildren completely understand that he is surrounded by his loved ones that have pasted on. I wish I could talk to Grandpa Page and let him know he needs to find him and welcome him through the Vail. It’s hard. Pray for my family. Ask for Peace.  Ask Heavenly Father to surround us with his love.