Just me a MOM..

Preemie life and Depression through my eyes.

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Just listen

Posted by Jenn on April 8, 2007

“To hear is relatively simple. To heed and apply what is heard becomes life’s perpetual challenge.”

As many of you know, I have a 2 year old. I am in a constant fight with her to just “hear” me. I know she can hear she does really well sometimes but rarely internalizes what I say. Like Emily I have in my past had the same problem. I see how I was when I was a teen. I feel bad for my mother. She had such a hard time with me. I had what I call selective hearing. Most of us have it how often it comes out is up to the individual. Like life I have found that the gospel is the same. You can just go through the motions, choosing when you really feel like listening or you can really listen and like the quote above says head and apply what is heard. The one thing Chad and I have always found difficult about going to church was that we never felt like we were important. In the 3 years that Chad and I have been married we have had 2set of home teachers that have come every month. I have only had 1 set of Visiting Teachers that have come on a regular basis, They only were mine for 2 months. Its so frustrating when you have been in a ward for a long time and every time you go you have to introduce yourself. I have been praying really hard for the motivation and the longing to go to church. Before I was married I was in a singles ward for a couple of years. At the end of it all my good friends had gotten married and I felt like I was left all alone. I spent many sundays feeling sorry for myself and wishing I could have what my friends had. One night while I was praying I had this thought pop in my head. A voice told me that the gospel was not about socializing but about feeling the spirit. I has stopped listening to what I being told during my classes and sacrament meeting. I had stopped feeling the spirit like I once had. I made a goal that I would try my hardest to listen and try to feel the spirit during every lesson. It’s amazing how peaceful I felt during sundays and if I tried hard enough it would last the rest of the week. Chad and I are now making the same commitment I did when I was single. We want our children to understand how amazing the gospel can make you feel. It is so hard to remember what your suppose to be doing in your life. It is a daily fight for every one of us to make sure we are really hearing the spirit talk to us. Once you understand how the spirit talks to you, you have to make sure that you follow the promptings you are getting. Making sure that you are not afraid of what is being asked of you. Its hard to get out of your comfort zone and really trust and have faith in the path way the lord is taking you down. The one thing that I keep telling Chad and that helps me is I know the lord has a plan for me. I know its not going to be easy. It is up to us to decide how hard its going to be. The lord has 2 pathways we can go down. They both are going to be hard, but one is going to be easier to deal with. I hope that makes sense. We will forever be dealing with tough decisions, and we will forever have the Lord holding our hands if we let him. Trust in him and listen to what he has to tell you. He is the only one that can really tell you the right way to go.


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