Just me a MOM..

Preemie life and Depression through my eyes.

Down a new road…

Posted by Jenn on August 30, 2007

I have come to a point when I realized I was living my life in fear. Chad and I have decided that I needed to go back to work part time at night. I was okay with it… Or so I thought. I realized tonight that I am FREAKING out about going back to work. Its been 3 years since I was working.  I am excited to get out and meet people, and help pay the bills. However I am having this fight with myself. Why do I feel like I am leaving my kids. I feel like I am failing as a mother. I know that I am not. Its hard for me to leave them. Chad is the one that does the Nighttime routine anyway. It shouldn’t be a problem. Well you know how your brain works. What if this happens. What if I do this. What if Emily does that. HOLY CRAP. I just wish my brain would turn off. I have found a couple of things that I am excited about. I want to wait till I find out either way before I start telling the world. Just pray for me that I what ever I get its what the lord wants.

4 Responses to “Down a new road…”

  1. Jenny said

    Oh Jenn!!

    I KNOW how hard it is to leave. It’s gotten easier for me over the years, and it will for you to!

    Now, I’m WAY older than you, and worked for more of my life, but I’m afraid to learn something new! Scared to death! I haven’t had a “real” job, for like 10 years. If you find something easy…let me know!!

    🙂

    Good luck, and you’re in my thoughts and prayers! Keep us posted!!

  2. I know I have talked to you about my job. I was way scared the day the store opened. But you know I LOVE it. I love what I do. I come home tired at the end of the shift.

    I think you will do wonderful at any job. Chad gets home early enough that you can get a good shift and the kids will be just fine. The funny thing is… You can always leave if they aren’t. Go home when you need to.

    You will do great…. I love it.. It has helped me out so much. Not to mention I am losing weight and I feel better about my self.

    Good luck

  3. Meesa said

    You saw how hard it was for me to start working again, but honestly, it feels so nice to get out of the house and be with adults. I feel like good about myself there. It’s feels good to be someone besides “mommy’ even if it’s only a few hours a week.

  4. amyf4 said

    It will all work out, have faith. And it will be good to get out and socialize. You are not a bad mother, you are a good mother because you are providing your kids with an example of how couples work together to maintain home. And you will still be there for the majority of things and you are not having to leave your kids with a babysitter. Good luck on it all!

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