Just me a MOM..

Preemie life and Depression through my eyes.

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Posted by Jenn on December 10, 2007

There has been a lot going on in my home lately. Some hard decisions have been made. Some of those decisions should have happened along time ago but I was too afraid to make them. I learned something though that helped me a lot. I spend a lot of my time, too much actually, living in Fear. Someone told me last week something that helped me understand how to know when I have made the right choices. False Evidence that Appears Real. What does that spell? F.E.A.R. Yes, fear.  I have thought about that all week. There has been once choice that I should have made a long time ago but because I didn’t want to deal with heartache I always put it off.  I always thought that I could make it work. That things would just click and POOF everything would be right and in order. I would plead for the answers I needed when I already knew what needed to happen. I hate that. So again I prayed for help and I again was told what I needed to do. The words you already know this popped into my head. Fear crept back into my head and I said there has to be another way. So yet again the choice I made was not the choice the Lord wanted me to do. So he sat back and humored me, watched me do my thing, in hopes I would come back and really just have faith. Fear. I hate that word. I hate that Satan knows me so well. He knows how much of a hard time I have just having Faith. Faith that Heavenly Father knows what he’s doing. So tonight I finally made that choice. I feel peaceful about it. I know that the pain will heal and things will finally get better. It was the hardest choice I have ever made in my life. I just feel like I am giving up. Pray for me. I need to keep feeling the peace I do!


One Response to “F.E.A.R”

  1. Jenny said

    Prayers said.

    Ya know, I was watching Grey’s Anatomy, and they were talking about fear as being good, because it means you have something to lose. I think they were talking about being scared, but … same thing.

    When we have agonized over something, and finally make a choice, it often feels like we are giving up. I know how hard it is to have faith, and rely on the Lord, but YOU CAN DO IT!

    I don’t know you THAT well, but I do know, how hard you fight for things. I don’t know what choice you made, but I bet you fought hard!


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