Just me a MOM..

Preemie life and Depression through my eyes.

In everything be EXACT.

Posted by Jenn on December 19, 2007

christ4.gif  The Savior is saying to us, “Trust me, learn of me, do what I do. Then, when you walk where I am going,” He says, “we can talk about where you are going, and the problems you face and the troubles you have. If you will follow me, I will lead you out of darkness,” He promises. “I will give you answers to your prayers. I will give you rest to your souls.””

Jeffrey R. Holland

General Conference, April 2006

 

 

  It’s comforting and frustrating to read something like that and know that what is being counseled is what you’re finally doing. Comforting because you know like it says that you will be given answers to prayers and rest to your souls. Frustrating because I wish I would have just realized it a lot sooner than I did. I was just going through some past entries that I have written. I was amazed by the fact that I seemed so happy and settled with life. In reality I know that is not was going on in my home. I knew those things, but I had not really internalized them. It’s so hard to live in a lie. I had spent so much time just saying a lot thing to make people believe I was okay and that I was really doing things I needed to be doing to make my life better. I was sad and frustrated and feeling hopeless. I did what I needed to, to stay above water. I know now that I was not giving myself enough credit. I always thought to become REALLY happy I needed so many other things. Things that I did not or could not have. Yes it would be nice to have money or a better place to live but, I didn’t NEED those things to find the happiness I deserved. I know that I had to have a few more experiences in my life to truly understand what that saying meant. It finally dawned on me that I had to do EXACTLY what it says there, Trust him, learn of him, and do what he does. In the last few weeks I have been living the motto “in everything be EXACT”.  This to me was going to be hard but I know that it was going to make a HUGE impact in my life. This is what I did. I started with making a schedule. It was easier for me to do that so that I could remember what my goal was. For me when things got hard, house work was the one thing that stopped.  So to make sure that I fit house work into my home, I made a schedule for that too. I only do one chore a day. For me, right now, that is what I can handle. I am excited because it makes things less overwhelming. Doing everything EXACT, hasn’t been so hard. It just means I have to preplan everything I do. This is just fine for me. I have to be prepared. We eat lunch at 12:30pm. Now I have to make sure that if we are not going to be home before then that I have food with me or go buy food so that the kids can eat. I have to start being a planner.

            The lord has been blessing me so much since starting this. I read my scriptures at the same time everyday. I pray at the same time everyday. It’s been nice to see how my life is changing since starting this new routine. We don’t have every minute of every day mapped out, but we just make sure that we stop what we are doing when its time do to the right thing. I love how much different my life has become. I am truly blessed and loved. I am so excited to keep moving forward.

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