Just me a MOM..

Preemie life and Depression through my eyes.

My Easter thoughts.

Posted by Jenn on March 23, 2008

easter.jpg

I have wanted to do this for a long time. I have a hard time putting into words the things I fee when it comes to things other than my children, husband, or stresses. I felt very strongly that I needed to say these things today. As I sit here listening to my children play with their Dad, I am over come with emotion. I have truly been blessed in my life. I have been able to see these blessings better as I get older. I am overwhelmed by the sacrifices that others have made on our behalf. Some times I feel like to many people sacrifice too much for us.  It has been hard for me to ask for help and be okay with it.  I have always felt that we should be able to do EVERYTHING on our own. That is how things were designed to work. It wasn’t until recently that I had a change of heart with that. We live the way we do because its the only way we CAN survive. We have to ask for help because thats the Lords plan right now for us.  He understands so much more than we ever could. I am so grateful for the gospel I have in my life.  Before I was married I learned a valuable lesson that has always stuck with me. You don’t go to church to make friends, you go to feel the spirit of our Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.  You go to be edified and taught his word. This has helped me so many times, when i have felt beaten down and hated. I have been stressing out about going to our new ward. I didn’t want to have the same experiences we have had in the past with other wards.  I want people to embrace my little boy and his wonderful abilities and love him just as much as I do.  I want to have people WANT to include him in the activities they do. I want people to know our story and embrace me and a daughter of God. It brings tears to my eyes when I think about how much my son has missed out on because of the fears of others. I am at fault with somethings as well, I have made the choice to take him with me to class because I wanted to protect him. I want to make sure that he is being included with things and I can do that better than anyone else. In the past he has just been pushed aside and forgotten. So I didn’t take him back. I pray that things will go smoothly and that I am able to be happy out going Jenn that makes friends easily. Sometimes its just easier to sit back and stay in our bubble. I am grateful for the knowledge I have of Our Lord. I am grateful for his love and patience with my family. I am grateful for the testimoney that I have of the gospel. It never changes and some days its the only stable thing I have in my life. I am grateful for my friends. They are always there for me when I need them. Thanks to all of you for following my story, its been a fun ride so far and I am ready for more ups and downs.

Sorry that this turned into testimony meeting blog. I really feel like I needed to express these things to the world for some reason. I do hope that you all had a amazing Easter day and that you remembered to think about the resurrection of Christ as you were eating your Chocolate bunny!

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One Response to “My Easter thoughts.”

  1. Lisa M said

    Jenn-

    I think sharing your testimony and the way you feel, with us- should never be something to apologize for.

    I think it is always wonderful when we have these moments, where we recognize our blessings and express gratitude for the help of others.

    I didn’t think life would ever be as hard as it is. I am constantly amazed by the way things turn and go. Though I am a firm believer that we are responsible for our own choices and decisions and the consequences of those choices, there are a great many, many things that are our out of our hands. For a long time, I never took that into account.

    I appreciate your candor. I know these are hard things.

    God bless- and Happy Easter!

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