Just me a MOM..

Preemie life and Depression through my eyes.

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Back again…and I hate it!

Posted by Jenn on March 25, 2008

So we are back up at primarys. Zach had another long seizure Early monday morning. It was simalar to what happened at the first of febuary but not exactly the same. I was awoken to the sound of labored breathing over his monitor and ran in praying that i would just find him calm and just playing. OH was I wrong. It was the same thing all over again. This time I was a little more calm about things. I got dressed and Chad called 911. They got to the house and he was kind of alert. He was twitching on the right side of his face and his eyes were shaking. Thank heavens he was on his belly when I found him or else he would have probly choked on the vomit and saliva that were coming out of his mouth.  They told me that they would take him to primarys and off we went. They gave him 6 doses of 3 different meds while we were in the ER. He would seize on and off from when I found him at  6:45am to noon. It was unreal. He was admitted to the hospital last night and is doing okay. He is starving because he has not had any real food since Sunday night. He is so sad. He looks at me and just cries. He had an EEG done this morning and we are going to have an MRI done in about an hour.  At that point we hope to be able to go home. I hate this place and I have being here. Its not fair for all these children to have to experince so many horrible things in the short time they are on the earth. I had a melt down this morning in the caffeteria, cried on my french toast. I had to leave because I was so embarrased. I don’t want these events to be our “Normal”. I hate that I have to get use to them. I hate watching my little Zach cry because he is in such pain.  I hate that I can’t just order food and feed him. That would solve part of our problems. I am in a dark place right now and I am having a hard time finding my way out right now. I am so scared and I am starting to see lasting effects of the long seizures he is having. His smile is not the same. One side of his face droops. I miss my Zach. I miss his old smile. Please pray for me and my bubba. I am simply at my wits end about all of this. I do know that Zach is a fighter. That he will pull through all of this. Its just hard to think that this is the road we are going down when we thought last time was just a pit stop. Thanks for all your support friends out there. I have to go back and get him ready.


5 Responses to “Back again…and I hate it!”

  1. Jenny said

    OH JENN!!! I’m SO sorry!

    HUGE AND MORE HUGS from our house!

    Keep us posted!

  2. Leah said

    Please know that you’re in our thoughts and prayers! I can’t imagine what you’re going through! Let me know if we can do anything for you!

  3. Lisa M said

    Ah Jenn. Yipes. I am so sorry to hear about this latest thing. The never ending cycle is what I think, makes it the hardest.

    I hope you can figure out what is going on, and that you can find a solid, treatment for him, that works.

    Seizures scare the absolute snot out of me. I am so sorry that this is your issue.

    I hope you find a solution.

    Let us know when you’re back or if you need anything.

    Love ya.

  4. Candace said

    Think and praying for all of you. It is so hard to not know what is going to happen next. Hope your stay is not long, and you get some answers.

  5. Kerri said

    I’m so sorry Jen, just keep praying.. God will give you and Zach strength and knowledge to help. We are praying for you too, hang in there. Call if you need me!

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