Just me a MOM..

Preemie life and Depression through my eyes.

Thats it, I’m DONE!

Posted by Jenn on April 22, 2008

I HATE SEIZURES!! I hate them! I hate them! I hate them!!!

Every time this happens a little bit of my heart is ripped out and stomped on.

I am having a really hard time climbing out of the pit these days. This isn’t helping matters!

Thank goodness my mother was with me. I am really glad she was there to keep me calm.

He started Seizing in the car. We were about a mile away from Primary Childrens. They got us right back.  We got it stopped quicker than any other time before. They let us take him home. So thankfully we will be sleeping in our own beds tonight. What a DAY! No more PLEASE! Someone bring me dinner! Its so hard to be “normal” when i am so worried. I hate this!!!

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Another day.

Posted by Jenn on April 21, 2008

Its been an okay couple of days. I have been pretty distant from Chad and the Kids lately. He told me yesterday that I have not been around a whole lot. I am not sure why. I have found myself hanging out in my bedroom just watching TV by myself.  Saturday we spent the morning working on the back yard. Every time i think about it it makes me have anxiety. There is just SOO much to do with it. I have never had to take care of a yard so I have no idea what to do. The people that lived here before didn’t take care of it at all. The mowed the Lawn and thats about it. Chads parents and our neighbor came over to help. It was kinda fun just working in the yard. We got have the back done and hauled away. We cut down a lot of trees.  They were kind of sprouting randomly around the yard. It looks tons better now. We still have some work but it shouldn’t be as  bad.

We spent some time with my brothers and sisters on Saturday. We have an adult dinner 2 times a year with them. It was SOO much fun. I love the relationship i have with them. Its so neat that we get along so well with each other. They have always been so supportive. We know we can go to them first when we need something. I love having them so close to us. My younger sister is one of my best friends. Our kids are best friends too. Its fun to see how well they get along when they are not tired. I am proud of the kinds of relationships I have with my family. We are so close and I love that I can call my brothers when i need a blessing or just some advice. My poor brother probably knows more about me than he wants to know. His wife too. They have been such a blessing for me. My kids love Kerri and Scott.

On Sunday we got to go help my Grandma celebrate her 86th birthday. She is such an example of power and strength. She is the coolest grandma ever. Its getting harder for her to do the things she needs to but she is a trooper. We had all the aunts and uncles there to help celebrate.  Its fun to around my cousins. At one time we hung out all the time. We have kind of grown apart as we got older. I miss hanging out with them. I miss the funny things we had in common. Going to Chilis with Jon, Lari, Rachel, Alesha and Meesa. What a fun time what was.  I just love my family i guess thats what this post has turned into. I kind of went off there didn’t I? Sorry about that.

Anyway just a reminder the Fundraiser started Yesterday. If you can spare even $1 that would help. You don’t have to have the voucher to go get food the flyer will be just fine. If you want to just give money Call April Sidwell @ 801-825-1200 (this is the number to Fazolis). She is the Manager at the Fazolis in layton. She can help with what ever you need. Tell everyone you know about it. It would help us so much be able to make ends meet! Thank you so much for all your help and love and prayers. Its nice to know people care about us. If your new to the blog Welcome! I love visiters.

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Some fun with finger paint!

Posted by Jenn on April 19, 2008

Our WONDERFUL vision therapist brought the kids some finger paints to use. Emily was all about painting and singing and having a wonderful time. She would dip her Q-tip in the paint and say just one more dip mom. It was so much fun to watch. Zach on the other had didn’t want anything to do with actual painting he just wanted to play with the Q-tips. When we were done we had a HUGE mess to clean up. Most of the paint ended up in his tummy. Good thing it was non toxic!

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Can you help?

Posted by Jenn on April 14, 2008

All you need to do if you can help is print this post and take it to the Layton Fazoli’s. If you want to donate by phone call the number listed. THANKS!

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Its good to be back.

Posted by Jenn on April 9, 2008

Its good to be back. Chad and I were able to go attend the temple tonight. It was the best thing I could have done for myself. I cried hearing the promises that were made. I have a clearer picture of things now. It has been way to long and I am so glad that we worked so hard to make it back. I love the temple. I love the feeling of peace you get when you are there. Its nice to get away from the world.

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This one is for Grandma Karen.

Posted by Jenn on April 8, 2008

We love our Grandmas. Its fun to watch my kids grow up. Zach is doing so many fun things latley. I hope you enjoy watching our progress like we do!

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Holy funny!

Posted by Jenn on April 7, 2008

Okay  you have to watch this video! Its the funniest thing I have seen in a long time….

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Owie!

Posted by Jenn on April 4, 2008

This is what my foot looks like. Except that its the last 2 toes. I hit my foot on the door frame when i was coming out of our bathroom. I cannot walk. It hurts to look at. I am in a lot of pain. I was getting ready to go to the Doctor and Emily stepped on it. WOW that hurt SOO bad! I hate being injured.

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Motivational Poster.

Posted by Jenn on April 2, 2008

funnies.jpg

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It’s Okay!

Posted by Jenn on April 1, 2008

I have been trying really hard to just really be calm this week. I am feeling like what our “normal” is starting to be is going to be okay. I have just spent the last couple of days just being a mom.

emily-profile-1.jpg  I have been able to cuddle with my Emily so much in the last 2 days its so much fun. She normally doesn’t like to cuddle. We have been singing songs and reading books and today she told me that she really needed a sister. I giggled and said well umm I am not sure about that. We talked about it a little bit and she told me that her name will be Sally Toga. I asked her what would happen if it was a boy and she told me that she only needed one brother, Zachary. She just really needs a sister. She even asked Chad if she could have one NOW! She told him that we just needed to go to Walmart and buy one. They are by the apples mom! DUH! It made me giggle. She is so funny. I have been trying to do more reading. I have a million books that I haven’t even read and now I am going to try to get through them. I am reading “I am a Mother” by Jane Clayson Johnson. So far it has been a pretty positive book for me. There is one part that has really touched my heart. It fits with what I have been dealing with in my head. She Quotes Jefferey R. Holland. It says “You are doing God’s work. You are doing it wonderfully well. He is blessing you, Even- No Especially- When your days and your nights may be most challenging. Like the woman who anonymously, meekly, perhaps even with hesitation and some embarrassment, fought her way through the crowd just to touch the hem of the master’s garment, so Christ will say to the women who worry and wonder and weep over their responsibility as mothers, Daughter, be of good comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole’.  And it will make your children whole as well.” 

Some times its so hard to have that faith the lord wants you to have. I have struggled with that very thing my whole life. I am working on it. I am getting more and more comfortable with the reality of my situation. As I get more and more answers the path that we are suppose to go down becomes more clear. Part of me wishes that I didn’t have to deal with Depression, Anxiety, and OCD on top of it all. I am getting there. Thanks for all the concern and love. Its nice to have people that care for me. I have an awesome support system.

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